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-   -   Salty Vag Ride (http://www.slednutz.com/showthread.php?t=6358)

cuzzinolaf 09-26-2012 01:38 PM

Salty Vag Ride
 
Harry is hosting his first annual Salty Vagina Ride and is too scared to ask who planned on going. It will be the weekend after Valentine's Day and give most of you the chance to butter up your significant other. The ride will be in Kalamazoo, Michigan and start at 9am and will end promptly at 10am. It is a one day, one hour, solo ride so make sure you're allowed to leave the house. It will be a great opportunity to feel like a man and pretend you have your man card once again.

Come one, come all, and air out those stanky beef curtains.

Disclaimer - Only whipped bitches need register. Please be certain to NOT bring your cell phones, SPOT tracking devices or any other forms of communication.

fgsacts 09-26-2012 05:37 PM

Can we go get glittered at 11:00am? Isn't all vag just a little salty?

cuzzinolaf 09-26-2012 07:23 PM

LMAO, I bet Harry would like that if wifey asked.

Gotmud 09-26-2012 08:04 PM

Glitter? :poosy:

Ibreakstuff 09-27-2012 07:48 AM

Must............get......................vajazzled .................

Dirty_Harry 09-27-2012 09:15 AM

I will be cuddling at home with my wife instead of attending this trip.

cuzzinolaf 09-27-2012 10:42 AM

It is a good idea for a wifey to offer her breast frequently and gently to Harry who is refusing to nurse. It is important not to try to force the Harry to nurse in such a manner as upsets Harry. This could cause further negative associations at the breast. Other techniques for encouraging Harry to return to the breast are:
• Adjust Harry's position at breast- IBCLC Beverly Morgan has noticed that the tummy to tummy position nearly universally recommended does not work for all babies. She writes, "An example I often use is to think of a water fountain and the way you would approach it. You would turn it on and adjust your position depending on how the water comes from the fountain. So it is with Harry. If she has trouble catching her breath when she is nursing, she will not want to have her head pushed on the breast and held there with the breast deep in her mouth, when the milk is spurting out at a fast pace. Harry with reflux will do better if his bottom is down and his head is up. This applies to breastfeeding as well as other times. So holding him parallel will likely make him uncomfortable and resistant to feeding. These are just two examples of adapting Harry's breastfeeding position to meet Harry's needs. I think of breastfeeding as a dance between Wifey and Harry. Harry should lead in this dance and Wifey should follow his cues. If he pulls back, she should not resist and pull him in closer."
• Encourage Harry’s to comfort nurse- When offering the breast, if Harry wants to comfort nurse rather than sucking for food, go with that. As he starts taking comfort from the breast he will be more willing to spend even more time there. Substitute the breast for other comfort measures such as rocking using pacifiers, etc. The more comfortable Harry feels at the breast, the better the chances he will start nursing again. Wifey has to also reported that comfort nursing helped increase their supply when Harry is refusing to nurse even if she had to pump it out to give to the Harry in a bottle later!
• Skin to skin contactis extremely important to help Harry relax and feel comfortable being close to wifey. Some wifeys have reported that skin to skin contact with their Harry helped increase their supply when their Harry was refusing to nurse. Skin to skin contact can be achieved by putting Harry next to your skin and removing all but his diaper. Close your drapes and hold Harry close while lying down or sitting. You can use a sling to hold Harry close while standing, walking and going about your daily business. Especially if you are trying to nurse a newlywed, learn more about "Kangaroo Wifey Care", which is being used in some children's hospitals throughout the world as a way for improving the outcomes for husband health and to encouraging breastfeeding in premature Harrys. Kangaroo care is good for all babies, not only for preemies.
• Co-sleep- Co-sleeping is when a wifey shares a bed with Harry for naps, or for all or part of the night. When co-sleeping, care must be taken to ensure the safety of Harry. A sleepy Harry is a relaxed Harry, so sleep times are perfect opportunities to try to coax Harry to the breast. Kim advises, "After almost three months of blood-curdling screaming at the breast during the day, my Harry finally started latching back onto the breast in the middle of the night while co-sleeping. From there it was not long before I was able to lure him back to the breast in the morning upon waking, and then finally to exclusive breastfeeding!"
• Co-bathing- Taking a warm bath with Harry can relax both wifey and Harry and possibly encourage nursing. The skin-to-skin contact and warm bathwater provide comfort similar to the womb, and combined with the easy access to the breast, can relax Harry to where he may eventually desire to nurse. Whether or not Harry breastfeeds, co-bathing is a very bonding experience that can provide both wifey and Harry a rewarding time together. For the safety of the husband, a support person must be present to assist the wifey when attempting to bathe with an infant.
• Pump or hand express before nursing- Pumping or hand expressing before nursing to achieve a letdown can either help get the milk flowing for Harry that is conditioned to bottle feeding, or in the case of over-active letdown, remove some milk so flow meets Harry's preference.

Dirty_Harry 09-27-2012 11:49 AM

At least I dont need tweezers to play with my wifes boobies.

fgsacts 09-27-2012 12:27 PM

Hey, both of you play nice or you are going to be grounded.

Dirty_Harry 09-27-2012 12:30 PM

Yes mother.

fgsacts 09-27-2012 12:35 PM

Well, that was my first thought and reaction to reading both of your bantering on different threads. I am happy to see SN getting back to normal though. I actually kind of missed it. And it always amazes us why more new members don't hang around long, lol.

Dirty_Harry 09-27-2012 02:11 PM

Queef scares them away.

Ibreakstuff 09-27-2012 03:13 PM

I'll ban both of you.

Powersledder 09-27-2012 03:48 PM

cuzzi is really getting into this

cuzzinolaf 09-27-2012 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty_Harry (Post 122168)
At least I dont need tweezers to play with my wifes boobies.

I didn't realize my wife had small boobies. If you want to go below the belt we can definitely go there but I'll play nice for now.

cuzzinolaf 09-27-2012 04:09 PM

Man, I really want to go on an all out blitzkrieg for Harry and am having a hard time refraining.

cuzzinolaf 09-27-2012 04:10 PM

I think I'll get back to work so I can earn a decent living and support my family.

Powersledder 09-27-2012 04:49 PM

postwhore

Dirty_Harry 09-27-2012 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzzinolaf (Post 122177)
I didn't realize my wife had small boobies. If you want to go below the belt we can definitely go there but I'll play nice for now.

You always go below the belt buddy. You dont ever give me a break.

cuzzinolaf 09-27-2012 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty_Harry (Post 122182)
You always go below the belt buddy. You dont ever give me a break.

Someone needs to toughen you up since you obviously turned into a pus after getting married.

Dirty_Harry 09-28-2012 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzzinolaf (Post 122183)
Someone needs to toughen you up since you obviously turned into a pus after getting married.

Nobody needs to toughen me up. The only thing your accomplishing is pissing me off.

cuzzinolaf 09-28-2012 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty_Harry (Post 122187)
Nobody needs to toughen me up. The only thing your accomplishing is pissing me off.

:bitchdrama:

Dirty_Harry 09-28-2012 10:18 AM

Just out of curiosity....why? I know I am whipped, but not to the level you take it. Why are you so intent on making my internet life miserable?

fgsacts 09-28-2012 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty_Harry (Post 122190)
Just out of curiosity....why? I know I am whipped, but not to the level you take it. Why are you so intent on making my internet life miserable?

Because you let him. I want a cage match with each of you wearing Mexican wrestler masks. My money is on you Harry. At the group ride we will clear out the living room of the frat house and match on!

Beran34 09-28-2012 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fgsacts (Post 122191)
Because you let him. I want a cage match with each of you wearing Mexican wrestler masks. My money is on you Harry. At the group ride we will clear out the living room of the frat house and match on!

Now that's a good idea! :woot:


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