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What makes a professional snow driver?

General Discussion

View Poll Results: What qualifies one to be a professional winter driver?
You live in a wintery environment 0 0%
You've lived in a wintery environment for at least 3 years or more 0 0%
You've lived in a wintery environment for at least 5 years or more 1 1.67%
I don't care where you live, NOONE can claim such 3 5.00%
Your Dirty_Pannus and have lived in a wintery environment for 2 years 0 0%
You don't care and think Dirty Harry sucks man cock 56 93.33%
Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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  #1  
Old 12-18-2013
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Default What makes a professional snow driver?

So the other day Harry proudly proclaimed to me that he was a professional winter driver and his brother was not. I was mildly baffled as I've never in my 40 years heard ANYONE boast to being a professional winter driver. So I got to thinking(partly because I'm bored), what requirements must one fill to be considered a "professional" winter driver? Andy aside, most of us live in winter environments so I thought I'd ask here. What do you think could justify claiming to be a "professional" winter driver?

At first I thought, maybe simply because Harry lives in a winter environment made him think that? Then I got to thinking about all the dumbasses here in Michigan (with Michigan plates) that drive 30 mph when it snows, and the countless vehicles I see in the ditches during snow storms. All of whom also have Michigan license plates, which would lead you to assume they are also professional drivers like Dirty_Pannus?

So, -in your opinion- what could qualify someone to be a professional snow driver?


WTF Harry, quit editing my posts!!
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Last edited by Gotmud : 12-18-2013 at 09:09 AM.
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  #2  
Old 12-18-2013
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Somehow, because someone has too much time on there hands, they put words in my mouth....
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  #3  
Old 12-18-2013
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Put words in your mouth lmao, you were quite smugg when you claimed that.
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Rich
"Do not go where the path may LEAD, go instead where there is no path and leave a TRAIL"

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Nobody on this site likes Ski Doo except Dirty Harry, and he's better at making babies than buying or fixing sleds, so you don't want to listen to him.
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  #4  
Old 12-18-2013
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I hate drivers around here in the winter....People around here (SE WI) think I am nuts when they see me passing them in the winter. Single trace of snow and everybody freaks out and starts going 30mph. Funny thing is, last year on the UP ride I realized how much more timid I have become since moving down south....

On the flip side, they don't know how to plow around here either. The will repeatedly salt the roads but then wait an entire day to plow them again, so in the meantime your slogging through mush.



I would not call myself a pro winter driver, but if you see me on the highway, I'll be driving the black truck in the passing lane. And just becuase you live a a wintery environment, does not automatically qualify you as a good winter driver.
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  #5  
Old 12-18-2013
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Again, the claim was made jokingly in comparison to my brother who is horrible in the snow.

Mud just has too much time....
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rihanna shut up and drive, I would split her in half as part of my equal opportunity bed.
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  #6  
Old 12-18-2013
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You left off the option of being just that good in all conditions that snow is just a minor inconvenience on the road.
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  #7  
Old 12-18-2013
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We can add it...
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My drinking team has a snowmobiling problem...


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madcow View Post
rihanna shut up and drive, I would split her in half as part of my equal opportunity bed.
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I don't take meds.
This forum is cheaper.
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  #8  
Old 12-18-2013
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I'll tell you how a professional winter driver is made. A long career of endlessly whipping shitties and deliberately sliding around is how you get good in the snow. Then when something happens you know exactly how your vehicle is going to react. Instead of panicking, you think to yourself, "Hmmm, this skid is alot like that time I was pulling e-brake maneuvers in that parking lot over behind Cenex," so you compensate and drive on like nothing happened. That's why chicks are such horrible drivers: they have no clue that cars are made to beat on and endlessly fuck around with. Therefore, they never learn necessary skills.
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  #9  
Old 12-18-2013
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I was going to say the same, but more simply, if you think it is fun to drive in snow, you are likely a good snow driver. If you white knuckle it and hate every second on the road knowing your car could slide a 1/4", then stay home and sell yourself on the internet. I think that shit is pretty lucrative and you won't be 'underemployed' like you will be at Taco Johns.
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  #10  
Old 12-18-2013
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I knew Mookie would get it. What was that story you were telling at Thanksgiving camping about when you were "putting on a clinic," and the bitch in the car said that you forgot to signal? If I know Mookie and "putting on a clinic," I'd venture to guess that the least of her worries at the time should have been signalling.
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  #11  
Old 12-18-2013
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Mookie said it, so it must be true.

I love driving in the snow.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madcow View Post
rihanna shut up and drive, I would split her in half as part of my equal opportunity bed.
Quote:
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I don't take meds.
This forum is cheaper.
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  #12  
Old 12-18-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi View Post
I'll tell you how a professional winter driver is made. A long career of endlessly whipping shitties and deliberately sliding around is how you get good in the snow. Then when something happens you know exactly how your vehicle is going to react. Instead of panicking, you think to yourself, "Hmmm, this skid is alot like that time I was pulling e-brake maneuvers in that parking lot over behind Cenex," so you compensate and drive on like nothing happened. That's why chicks are such horrible drivers: they have no clue that cars are made to beat on and endlessly fuck around with. Therefore, they never learn necessary skills.

I have said the same quote, almost verbatim, many times....

I also usually have to answer that with "when I'm being dumb I'm smart about it. I don't go sliding my truck around in a packed parking lot or when other drivers or pedestrians are around"
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  #13  
Old 12-19-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi View Post
What was that story you were telling at Thanksgiving camping
That's pretty much the only thing I got from this post. Thanksgiving camping sounds bad ass!!!
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"Do not go where the path may LEAD, go instead where there is no path and leave a TRAIL"

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Originally Posted by Rubi View Post
Nobody on this site likes Ski Doo except Dirty Harry, and he's better at making babies than buying or fixing sleds, so you don't want to listen to him.
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  #14  
Old 12-19-2013
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Friday after Thanksgiving camping! I make some shitty chili, extended DCUBA bitches about it, but then they have seconds, and in the morning they mix what's left with their eggs. Stories get told and some beer gets consumed. Sometimes adventures transpire on the lake, regardless of ice thickness. This year the ice was really cool because it was cold for a while without snow or wind, so it was like a pane of glass. There wasn't much exhibition, winter driving, but the parking lot where most of DCUBA logged practice hours is about a mile away from the camp!
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  #15  
Old 12-19-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi View Post
I knew Mookie would get it. What was that story you were telling at Thanksgiving camping about when you were "putting on a clinic," and the bitch in the car said that you forgot to signal? If I know Mookie and "putting on a clinic," I'd venture to guess that the least of her worries at the time should have been signalling.
Was this the one in Duluth with the Zephyr? I'm not sure I had working signal bulbs anyway.
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  #16  
Old 12-19-2013
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Seems the assmin has had his grubby paws on the poll..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madcow View Post
rihanna shut up and drive, I would split her in half as part of my equal opportunity bed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RipnChick View Post
I don't take meds.
This forum is cheaper.
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  #17  
Old 12-19-2013
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When I get paid to do it I am a pro, the rest of the time I am just lucky when I manage to stay on the road!
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